Coping with COVID
Most days today look like a scene straight out of Groundhog Day.
For the uninitiated Groundhog Day is a 1993 classic movie featuring Bill Murray as a disgruntled news reporter who is condemned to repeat each day till he learns his lesson.
Not all that different from what all of us are being subjected to in times of COVID. Every day seems the same – dealing with your kids’ homework, their endless shenanigans, back-to-back Zoom calls, housework, more Zoom calls.
Rinse. Repeat.
It is no surprise that Americans are stressed, their wellbeing severely affected. Life ratings have plummeted to a 12-year low according to Gallup.
How do you cope with this seemingly unending pandemic?
Here are four things to consider.
Find happiness
Finding a bright spot or a moment of happiness might seem difficult this year. But happiness – or for that matter sadness – is relative. According to noted behavioural economist Danny Kahnemann, people think of happiness in two ways – how happy you are in your life and how happy you are about your life.
There is a lot we might be unhappy about in our lives today, in our most painful moments and during times of intense turmoil. But there have also been significant moments and experiences of learning and growth. These are crucible moments – that will shape character and strengthen lives. Yes, many of these have been painful moments – losing a job, losing pay, separation from those we love, losing our sense of freedom or worse – losing someone you love. But there have been happy moments too – some of us have developed greater resilience, found new meaning in our lives, discovered unique strengths, new skills; a new career arc, or rediscovered health. Many have found the true meaning of friendship, of family or a true sense of community.
As you remember these essential experiences, take stock of not just the pain, but also moments of happiness, joy and gratitude.
Take stock of how you are feeling
Perhaps the most overlooked negative impact of the pandemic is the mental crisis that it has caused – and will continue to cause. This mental crisis has precedence. Previous epidemics like Ebola and MERS had also severely impacted mental health, anxiety and depression – but perhaps not at the scale we see with COVID-19.
It is important to address mental health- for yourself and for your family. You might feel that you are okay, that you have things under control. But dealing with the pandemic and the economic upheaval it has caused is a long term game. There is also the impact the pandemic is having on quarantine-weary children.
In this great HBR interview, titled ‘that discomfort you are feeling is grief’, David Kessler talks about the ‘many griefs’ that people are facing during this time. Getting a grip on the pandemic’s impact on your mental health and the lives of those you love is essential. A simple way to do that would be to take this GAD test that gives you an idea of the extent of your anxiety. It might seem like an oversimplified view of the more complex and multi-layered nature of your stress. But it’s an important start. Don’t sweep those feelings and emotions under the carpet because you feel fine at the moment.
Reimagine your work
Working from home has blurred the boundaries between work time and personal time. While there have been some great benefits because of remote working – reduced travel and work commutes, flexibility etc., all this has also come at a cost. Recent research has shown that people worked an average of 48.5 minutes more per day, compared with the pre-virus period. That is precious time when you think of the additional effort people must make to care for their families, homeschool children etc.
But lockdowns during the virus also indirectly resulted in some positive work behaviours. Average meeting length went down 21% and total time spent in meetings went down 9%. This is all good. And perhaps these are positive behaviours we must continue post-pandemic. Research before the pandemic estimated the time wasted in meetings was between 15–30%.
This is an opportunity to reimagine your work. To build a healthy relationship with time. And a fundamental change needed is improving work prioritization rather than do more multitasking. Multitasking has always been seen as a virtue. Leaders and managers who could multitask were seen as smart, efficient, productive. But recent research shows multitasking is shown to lower I.Q. and reduce grey matter density. If you are intensely multitasking, you are reducing your little grey cells, mon ami (as Poirot would say!)
And with the forced blending of personal and work lives, perhaps mono-tasking is a better tactic. Focus on single tasks. Disconnect from everything else – especially the news! Invest time and energy on those single tasks and avoid interruptions. You will see your important tasks get done and perhaps gain an opportunity to invest that extra 48.5 minutes into more family time or something meaningful – resting, renewing, learning and growing.
Get help. Give help
Our lives have perhaps never been so interwoven than before. Our actions (or inaction) now has greater impact. on our friends, family, even on absolute strangers.
These times have greatly exposed our vulnerability. But they have also made it clear that its okay to ask for help. And to get help. A lot of my research in leadership – especially in Asia has shown that asking for help can be seen as a sign of weakness. When you ask for help, you are somehow seen as unable to have your life in order. There is a stigma attached to asking for help.
But asking for help is okay. In fact, it is vital.
For some, this might be monetary help or physical and mental support. For many, it might just be an opportunity to share their opinions, their fears. What people might need is just someone who can be a good sounding board, someone they can share their experience with, someone who can help them make sense of their experience. Asking for help will not make you weaker. It will make you stronger.
So, get help. And where you can – give help. Helping others helps you. Neural evidence shows that helping others make you happier. Something as simple as donating money to charitable organizations activates the same regions of the brain that respond to monetary rewards. When you help others, you reward yourselves. You invest in your own wellbeing.
This pandemic will end. It will, however, be etched in our memories for much longer.
Churchill famously said that we should never waste a good crisis. Learning from this crisis and reflecting on it’s impact on your life – both positive and negative – is perhaps alll you need to deal with the next pandemic or disruption, which we know will surely come.
Do that right and you just might be prepared to escape the next Groundhog Day.
